Christian Bear, The day you were born, before you could even open your eyes, we could see you were special. At only 1 lb. 9 oz., the odds were against you, but day by day you grew stronger than anyone hoped you could be. We never missed a day visiting you in the hospital. We came every night for 91 nights to hold you, read to you, and put you to bed. We couldn't wait to get you home for your first Christmas. Finally the day came at 3 lbs. 9 oz. and you were ready to come home. Our first Christmas was quiet and spent with lots of family. You had already changed everyone's lives, especially ours. We were even all asleep by nine on New Years Eve! You and Daddy hardly ever made it past eight. In the next few months, doctors started to study you more and more to figure out why you were still so tiny. Everyone could always tell as soon as they saw you that you were different, special. Month after month, in spite of your size, you developed into more than anyone ever expected from you. When we took you out, other moms couldn't help but comment on how beautiful and alert you were. When we told them your age they were always surprised. It took you months to even get to five pounds, but you always looked and acted like such an old soul. We never doubted your strength, but we never could have imagined how strong you would grow to be. Your strength was tested far more than anyone's ever should be. We were so scared every time we handed you off for another surgery, but every time you came back to us. Every time you came back and made us remember how tough you were. Every time you came back to us and made us more and more proud to be your parents. A few weeks ago when you had what we thought would be your last surgery for a long time, instead of coming back to us better than you were before, we watched you get sick. Your good days were great but your bad days were very scary. When I would worry and the doctors would scare me, Daddy would remind me that you were special, stronger- stronger than anyone. You had been through so much that we thought you'd get through this too. But as weeks turned to days and days turned to hours and hours turned to minutes, we knew we were losing you. I told you that it was okay, that you didn't have to be strong and that you were going to be an angel. You could even be a big angel if you wanted. I told you that you were going to feel better and that you could be an angel for more babies that needed your strength. We know you were here for a reason but maybe Heaven needs you more. But we couldn't let you go. We wish we could understand why you had to go. Maybe someday we will. What we do know is that your life is bigger than this letter or these words and it will always keep growing. We talk to you all the time and take you everywhere we go. Nobody will ever love you or miss you like we do. No one's lives have been changed more than ours just from knowing you. We worry sometimes that you miss us like we miss you, but we can always feel you. We hope your days are filled with binkies and bananas. Please take care of us and give us your strength to help us get through this. You will always be our son, our greatest teacher and now our angel. Like I told you everyday, we're all still going to be together forever. Love, your Mama and Daddy Christian's funeral services will be on Saturday, September 12th, at 2:00 pm at Central United Protestant Church, 1124 Stevens Drive, Richland, WA with viewing one-hour prior to service. In lieu of flowers, please bring a baby blanket that we can donate in Christian's memory to the Kadlec Medical Center NICU and the Sacred Heart Children's Hospital PICU.