The Book of My Life By: Barbara A. Hankel First Day of Publishing: June 7, 1935 Final Chapter: March 4, 2021 Chapter 1 ~ A "Queen" is Born: I was born Barbara Ann Watkins in Washington, Davis County, Indiana, on June 7, 1935. I was the first born child to very proud parents, Everett Oliver and Martha Elizabeth (Thomas) Watkins. Although I was born on the petite side I would certainly make up for my size with an outgoing and adventurous personality! I was what some may consider a "strong-willed" child; one who always asked questions, especially, if I was told "no" for anything! Chapter 2 ~ Childhood Highlights: As the oldest child in a 7th Day Adventist family, the responsibilities and expectations were quite high. But also as the oldest, I had the enormous pleasure of awaiting the arrival of each of my siblings! One of my vivid memories during this time was the arrival of my youngest sibling. I was naturally close with all of my siblings, and often assumed the "mother" role while my parents were working, but there was a unique bond between Edith and me. This bond grew even stronger during her bone cancer diagnosis and amputation of one of her legs. She and I maintained this unique bond until her passing from bone cancer at 15 years old. I attended public elementary school until the 6th grade, at which time I began boarding school. It was a small, one-room class held in the back of the local church. I enjoyed school and while reminiscing about my school days, my sincerest gratitude and fondest memories were that of Mrs. Lemon, my 6th and 7th grade teacher. For a number of years while growing up, Dad worked on a large cow and chicken farm. Without a doubt, it was during this time that my love and joy for the "country" life was fostered; as well as, my fascination and a feeling of connectedness to the Amish community. By this time, my family had lived in a few states known for brutal winters, including Illinois and Michigan. Eventually, these winters would take a toll on my sister Nancy's health, as she suffered from severe bronchitis. The family doctor encouraged my parents to move to a drier climate to help Nancy with her condition, so the family moved to Arizona. While here, I attended a private academy along with my siblings. As the oldest, I understood the cost it took to put us children through such a school. So I decided to drop out and find work in an effort to ease the financial burden for my parents. Fortunately, I was able to return after only missing the first semester of 10th grade and later graduated with my class at Thunderbird Academy. While attending my senior year I worked as a nanny to earn my own money. I was so tickled and proud to buy and maintain the payments for my first car, a Chevy Coup! Chapter 3 ~ A Difficult Decision at Such a Young Age: During a darker, sadder time in my life, I was faced with an unexpected pregnancy and a difficult choice I would have to make and carry for years to come. Knowing I could not provide the life this child deserved; at a young 19, I entered the hospital alone, gave birth to a child who I was not able to see, hold, or know the gender. However, during discharge paper signing, I learn that I had delivered a boy. A day did not pass that I did not think of this son of mine, but knew the painful choice of adoption was necessary at that time. Chapter 4~Love at First Sight and the Switch-a-roo! My sister Nancy and I were going on a double date with a pair of best friend serving in the USAF. Upon their arrival and during the initial introductions, I found myself drawn to the taller, slender, and more mature looking gentleman. Not only had he caught my eye, I noticed I had caught his, too! The problem was, HE was the intended date for my sister! As the young men were about to escort their respective dates out the door, I made a quick switch-a-roo, grabbed the arm of Nancy's intended date and off we went! Roger Hankel was his name, we courted for six months before exchanging wedding vows in a small, intimate setting on July 1, 1955. We had been married for 55 years before my dear Roger passed in 2010. Throughout our marriage, we remained best friends with unconditional love for one another, and it was that love that saw us through all the trials and tribulations life would bring us. Chapter 5 ~ A Second Chance at Motherhood: Roger and I welcomed our first child, a son, Roger, Jr., on December 20, 1957. Exactly three years later, we welcomed our daughter Twila. Roger Jr. and Twila would keep our lives busy before an opportunity would present itself for Roger Sr. and me to open our home to another child. In 1981 a little girl name Michell, that we had known since she was 3, would come into our lives after tragically losing her mother. Two years later, in 1983, Michell officially became part of the Hankel family! It was a remarkable day for me; one that I held deep in my heart, as I was now raising a child from another mother that I would now call my own, just as someone else was able to do for me in 1954! Chapter 6 ~ Settling Down: Roger and I did not settle down immediately. We moved back and forth between Arizona and Washington helping our families as needed, including returning to Arizona with a toddler in tow and me 8 months pregnant, to be with Edith Mae in her final days. In 1963 we made the Tri Cities our home. Roger's family was already here so he accepted a job at Hanford, and in addition to taking care of our two children, I would begin caring for my ailing mother-in-law. Chapter 7 ~ Making it Work: My employment highlights include working at Our Lady of Lourdes hospital for 10 years; opposite shifts so our children would not have to be left with babysitter. Being a self-taught care giver - a skill that I was able to utilize with my mother-in-law, would now be useful, again, just when my family needed it most. Roger had sustained a workplace injury that would disable him from working again. The great financial strain left me no time to worry as income earnings was now up to me. Drawing on my care giving abilities; I opened our home to provide both daycare and foster care services. Through this time, I was able to lovingly care for a number of children and developed lifelong friendships with a number of the parents/guardians. Providing such care was one of my biggest achievements in life. Despite the financial troubles we were faced with, I was able to provide sufficiently for all those years. I budgeted our income so that none of the bills were sent to collections, the house payments were made timely, our family did not go hungry; and, we were still able to provide birthdays and holidays, although small, they still happened! I even managed to save enough money to buy the family a new television! Once the injury settlement was reached, my Roger thanked me with a new manufactured home on our property, a new car, and a trip to Alaska! Chapter 8 ~ Joys of Life: Clubs, Travels, Hobbies, Friends, Pets, and So Much More! During our time together, Roger and I were members of a variety of social clubs, including The Grange and The American Legion, and F.O.E. #2485. In 2018, I received my Golden Eagle Pin for 50 years of membership. I served as Little Sister of Washington and was proud that I served in each of the Chair roles up to, and including President. My Eagle travels allowed me to build friendships in the U.S. and Canada. Enjoyed the Red Hats Society along with my late daughter Twila, although she participated in her pink hat! While the kids were young and in activities, I found myself to be an active parent; Boy Scouts with Roger Jr, Job's Daughter with Michell, and being room mom for elementary days. Roger and I volunteered for the Tri Cities Water Follies, the Benton-Franklin Rodeo and various other activities. We bred, raised, and sold rabbits for many years while participating in the Rabbit Club. Another joy we had was making sure our yard was well maintained and decorated, I could simply tell Roger what I was looking for in decorations and he would put his woodworking skills to use. Some of my favorites included the large wishing well, wooden kid figures that swung on the large oak tree in the front yard, and the "old lady" bending over wooden figurine. Not big wine drinkers but we did attempt to make some with the balloon technique. How about a little 2-Step, grab your partner and do si do; dancing was an enjoyment for us. Decorating for the holidays has always brought me joy. Even in my last "home", my room was decorated monthly. Lights were always hung and the more the merrier! During this time I had a special decorator, Jeannette Clary; her eye for details on her handmade decorations did not go unnoticed. Her time of decorating and our conversations warmed my heart so. Although I left for home before I could see the finished St. Patrick's Day décor, I know the added leprechauns, leprechaun boot planter and the special garland would be nice on my eyes. My calendar of celebrations was my "bible" and its records ensured that I did not miss a special day for family or friends! I had a love of many things in my life! I appreciated a good yard sale, hitting up the thrift stores, but my favorite were the Blue Light Specials at Kmart! I loved magazines and shopper catalogs. Rarely was there a day that I didn't get one from Miles Kimball, Current, Collection, Etc., or Oriental Trading! Canning, gardening, caring for my rosebushes, and landscaping also brought me great pleasure. I also enjoyed spending time outdoors, whether it was camping, elk hunting, or fishing (a lot of fishing!) For me, recipes and cookbooks were not just a necessity, they were also a hobby; it gave me great joy. I have such fond memories of being able to bake for my mom and niece, Jessie. Christmas of 2019 I shared this love of cookbooks with my grandchildren by giving a signed cookbook. My favorite one that had many miles, old Better Homes and Garden was given to grandson Kyle a couple years back. Nothing better than a Pepsi or coffee with a new recipe to read! Roger and I were avid book readers. Roger built us book shelves to hold our enormous personal library. Prior to my last year when I became too frail to read, I had managed to read over 400 books online, primarily Amish! Surprisingly, I never needed prescription glasses; was able to get by with Dollar Store readers! And finally, but certainly not least, is my love for Dachshunds. Through the years I had a number of them, including Boots, who was paralyzed, but lived for 10 years; Prince, Xander, and Lil' Hank who survive me but are in good hands. These furbabies brought so much happiness to my days, especially in declining health. Chapter 9 ~ Thursday is for Coffee: As a woman who worked from home, more importantly, as a social butterfly, I decided to gather a group of friends to meet weekly at my house. The hope of this group was to provide a means for us ladies to have some social time and support for the things we needed, including, but not limited to raising and taking care of our families, camaraderie, and even losing a little weight. "Losing weight" fell off the agenda rather quickly, as the group began to meet once a month at an eating establishment; later turned to potlucks in my home. One of the coffee girls was also our sole Avon lady for all those years (June Blakenship passed February 2, 2020.) During the years that the coffee group met we celebrated birthdays and anniversaries. We would expand the group on occasions and celebrate life's events with the families of the coffee girls, including our children's graduations. It became customary for the group to gift each graduate with a set of luggage. Throughout the years as lives would change and people move on, those that could, continued to still meet on Thursdays. Even when I moved into an assisted living community for a while, two of the original coffee girls would continue to join me on Thursdays. This tradition went on for over 40 years! I was the oldest of the group and I was also the last survivor. I found it quite fitting that I left for home on a Thursday, as it was a Coffee Group Day and it was time to meet up with my two beloved best friends, Gloria J. Clary and Norma DeRoos, who greeted me with enormous hugs and even a new coffee mug printed with "Welcome Home!" Chapter 10 ~ Delights of Becoming a Grandma and Great Grandma: I remember the excitement I had when I became a grandma for the first time. It was more than I could have ever imagined. Remarkably the excitement and delight were even more so with each new grandbaby! As the great grandbabies started to make their entrances into our lives my heart would swell with such great love and happiness. The more the merrier is what I believed! With the birth of each one, it was an opportunity to improve as grandmother. So with that approach, by the time they were all born I was going to be the perfect grandmother! I leave behind 12 grandchildren and 17 great grandchildren with Kassius Lee due in June. The love I have for my own grandchildren extended to three special families whose children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren I "adopted," as well. That includes the families of Gloria, Norma and The Duncans. Chapter 11 ~ The Long-Awaited Reunion: On a Wednesday night in March of 2019, I received a call from one of my granddaughters-in-law. She asked me if I knew of anybody in the family that had a baby in November of 1954. She explained that she was on the phone assisting a woman who was helping her dad find his birth mother. This was the call I had been waiting to receive for 63 years! The woman inquiring with my granddaughter-in-law I now know was my granddaughter Emma. This had been a 34 year process for Emma and the son I had put up for adoption. Being a closed adoption and my son's adoptive mother having discarded the records, made this process harder. Fortunately, a simple error gave Emma the missing piece of the puzzle to make the connection. I hung up from this call and was overjoyed! God had answered my prayers! I now know that my first-born son's name is Craig. I also received a picture of him in an email and was able to finally see his face for the first time! Two days later, Emma came to visit me. In this brief, 12-hour visit with her, we hugged, we cried. I was taken aback at how much she and I had in common. Our connection was immediate, as if we had known each other all along. My son, Craig, would then fly out from his home in Missouri and surprise me on my 84th birthday. Touching my first born child's face for the first time in 64 years is something I will never forget! Just like with his daughter Emma, Craig and I had an instant connection. During this long-awaited reunion I learned that I also have 2 additional grandsons and 4 more great grandchildren! A short time later, Craig and his wife and one of his sons; Emma, her husband and 2 children returned to join a 4-day family reunion that was held on Labor Day where they were able to meet the rest of the family. It was truly a reunion, celebrated with such joy, fun, laughter and tons of food! Unfortunately, the Covid pandemic didn't allow for our 2020 reunion. It is planned that the family will continue on with this tradition. Chapter 12 ~ Live, Laugh, Love and Learn! I had a stroke on Christmas Eve in 2008, and was later diagnosed with COPD. These two life changes would undoubtedly be my biggest life challenges. I had to learn to adapt to a new way of living. Prior to the stroke, I was a busy, go-getter, do-it-myself kind of woman. Now I had to rely on others for help in so many ways. I greatly appreciate Our Lady of Lourdes Rehabilitation Unit and staff for the intense therapy that allowed me to trust in myself and my new abilities after the stroke. I had the kitchen remodeled to accommodate my limited mobility. Whatever I had to do, whatever needed to be bought so I could continue one of my favorite pastimes - cooking, even now with just the use of one arm. I was the Queen of remotes! Before having to move to assisted living and before my power chair, I was still able to weed whack my lawn with some assistance of a caregiver! Through these last 13 years, I have had up and downs with my health, I've had a great amount of grief after losing my loved ones, I had to sell my home and move into assisted living. While there, I did make new friends and was even on the facility's Welcome Committee for new residents. Although I enjoyed my time while living there, it just never felt like "home." So after 1 ½ years I moved into my "final" earthly home. My move to Pasco was to live in the home of Tracy, a caregiver, and the daughter of my late best friend Gloria. Tracy and her son, Thomas, opened their home up to me so graciously. These last 3 years have been truly some of the best. I was able to be myself and continue to do the things I enjoyed with some assistance. I was able to keep my "home" decorated just like I like, I was able to keep my dachshund Prince and even acquire 2 more. I spent many hours visiting, laughing, crying, and reminiscing with Tracy. I was able to have company to my wishes and plan gatherings with my family. I was able to be with Gloria, who was also living at Tracy's, and be with her during her final months Tracy's home was my home and I am blessed that I had the opportunity to spend my last years here. Between my failing health, continued loss of hearing and the forever talked about pandemic; my last year was at times difficult. With the help of my team, I was able to still enjoy life to the best of my ability. From watching the garden grow through pictures and enjoying the taste of "garden fresh" to video chats with loved ones or window visits, to accommodating my love for the "outside" and bringing it to my large picture window. I still was able to see my hanging baskets, birds at the feeders, and watch my dachshunds play. They helped me celebrate my 85th birthday with a beautiful garden cake and my favorite dinner of Liver and Onions from Hills Café. I was so appreciative of their extra efforts to make "my last year" a great one. Through all of this, I learned that either I laugh or I will cry, I need to love rather than hate, I need to live or I will die when I am not ready. I will sorely miss all of you I leave behind, just like my loved ones in heaven miss me. To all of you that I have crossed paths with, I thank you and encourage EVERYONE to Live, Laugh, Love and Learn just as I have done in my time. In the end, it will all be okay and fall the way it should. Love, Barbara A. Hankel Editor's Note: Barb's Book of Life closed in the early morning on Thursday March 4 while holding Tracy's hand and listening to her favorite hymn Amazing Grace. Barb was welcomed home by her loved ones that left ahead of her: husband, Roger Hankel, Sr. (2010), daughter, Twila Cornett (2015), son-in-law Donny Cornett (2012), mother Martha Watkins (2018 at 102 years of age), father, Everett Watkins (1984); her siblings Edith Mae (1960), Nancy (1995), and brother, Floyd (2017); her two best friends Norma DeRoos (2016), and Gloria J. Clary (2019). Barb will be greatly missed by those whom she loved dearly from coast to coast: sons: Craig and Marty Curry, Roger Hankel, Jr. and Esther; daughter, Michell Hankel-Brockmier; grandchildren and great grandchildren; Kelly and Samantha Cornett (Darla, Don, Dracen, Diana), Kyle Cornett, Kody and Brittany Cornett (Masin, Baby Kassius Lee due in June), Kristy (Cornett) and Shawn Watson (Izabella, Aria), Emma (Curry) and John Landers (Jaelynn, Patryck), Kevin and Angela Curry (Brent, Brock) and Chris Curry, Roger Hankel III, Amanda Hankel (Katlyn, Abigail), Kathleen Hankel and Dayton Rohwer (Alyceabella), Teresa Brockmier, and Camdon Brockmier, special niece Jessie Hatton, great nephew, Chris Hatton; sister in law, Ruth Ann Watkins; Watkin Cousins; brothers and sister-in-laws: Harlan Hankel, Muriel Bevacqua, Wade and Judy Hankel, Romie and Joan Hankel, in addition to many nieces and nephews and their families. Extended "family", the Clary and DeRoos families; Jenny and Jeremy Duncan (Jacquelyne, Jacub); Tommy Price and Karis (Tommy Jr.), Nancy Metz, Jess Brockmier, Earleyne Baze, and caregiver/friend Monica Arizmendi. Special acknowledgement goes to Heartlink Hospice; Stephanie, RN, Veronica (bath aide), our Chaplain Jim and Monica, RN. There are not enough words to express the gratitude we had in this last year for our Hospice Team. They were gracious, caring, understanding, and brought many days of laughter. Special Thanks also to Dr. Arthur Cain and his team for many years of great medical attention. All services are planned for Saturday, April 3, 2021 Viewing hours 9am-11:30am at Mueller's Funeral Home, 1401 S. Union St. Kennewick; Graveside Services at 12 pm at Desert Lawn (10th/Union) and Celebration of Life Services and Reception (Barb style) 1:30 pm at Events at Sunset: 915 Bypass Highway Richland WA. In lieu of flowers, individuals may donate to SPCA or Heartlinks Hospice in Barb's name. If flowers are being delivered please send to Events at Sunset to address above.